Sure, a real Christmas tree is neat and all. No two are the same and they smell marvelous. But, you have to water them constantly, their prickly lil needles fall off constantly, my cat won't get out of it and then they eventually die which serves as a constant reminder that life is fleeting and no one gets out of this world alive. SoI prefer artificial trees and I'll light a mf holiday candle and call it a day. And the icing on the cake? Wearing these festive Ball Hammocks™ and laying under the tree like the gorgeous gift that you are.
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If you find yourself alone in a corn field, you're either in a scary movie or in Iowa. It's kinda the same thing anyways. (Editor's note: Am from
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